I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
