Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
