How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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