I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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