jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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