So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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