I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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