Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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