I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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