I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Congratulations! We have a period
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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