My nipple is on Facebook.
too bad you live with your parents still
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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