Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
