batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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