I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
