Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
