You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
