I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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