So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
