Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
