i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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