I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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