and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
