wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
