I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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