My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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