I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he quoted the bible to break up with me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
