dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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