Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
