literally had 100 drinks last night.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
