we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize