why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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