Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
