It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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