i don't like sucking hair
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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