it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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