I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
