Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
