He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
a search helicopter?!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
