i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
