I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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