why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize