i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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