You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
