Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
