I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
