I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
