if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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