i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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