scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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