Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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