I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
