All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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