...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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