That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
