So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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