Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize