i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
