she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
