words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
