Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
