I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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