Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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