u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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